clientsfromhell:

Client: I want you to bill me for $50k, but I’ll only pay you the $1000 you quoted me.

Me: Why would I do that?!

Client: Then I can write it off on my taxes as a business expense.

Me: That’s fraud.

Client: No, no, then you can say that I paid you $50k, and nobody is the wiser.

Me: Except then, I’d end up paying a lot of bogus tax on income I didn’t receive.

Client: What if I threw in an extra $50, under the table? You can buy one of those new “i-droids” you kids like.

clientsfromhell:

On the phone to someone with a website inquiry.

Client: I have this idea for a website, and I’m looking for someone to design it for me.

Me: That’s great! What kind of website is it?

Client: I don’t want to tell you.